The Universe has spoken....

So I have been here for almost a month now. I feel good. 

Everyone welcomed me so warmly when I came back and it just seems like all my problems and stress from my vacation melted away. It is so odd how everything works. Last time I was onboard I wasn’t feeling like myself and I was starting to get all negative which is so not me. Then it got worse when I got home. I was back in the gym and training hardcore but the negativity and third life crisis were festering in me. My last couple of weeks I was having panic/anxiety attack every other day and mood swings like no tomorrow. I would burst out in tears for no apparent reason, I didn’t even recognize myself.  I am the girl that people call Sunshine, how could I be this dark person all of a sudden? I am that yoga loving, Buddha quoting hippie that everyone goes to for advice but I was bursting out in tears in broad daylight and in public.

My guru friends told me to dig deep and have trust in the universe and take it one day at a time. I came onboard and I was so unsure of what was going to happen but all of a sudden things became light again. The same odd way that everything went dark all of a sudden the universe made it light again.  Balance was restored.

I feel like myself again. I am smiling, feeling grateful, I can see the silver lining in everything again, I am happy to get out of bed in the morning, I look forward to events, I am able to sleep again and I am back in full force with my training. This is me, this is who I am and it feels so good to be that person again! I don’t know why everything shifted but it did.

I still feel like I need some sort of a change and I have no doubt that something good is coming my way. All you have to do is believe, project and visualize it and the universe will bring it to you.

I made a new vision board and printed it out, I put a copy in my cabin and my office and made it my desktop background on both my cabin laptop and my office computer.

Just as I was organizing my plan of action to conquer one of my goals, the universe spoke. And she spoke louder then ever before with an opportunity greater then I can imagine.  It’s here and right in front of me. Now I will still have to fight for it and work for it and make it happen but it’s there and within my reach.

Send me your positive vibes cause I have to give my all to make it happen and I know I can and I know I will.  I just have to believe.

Good things are coming…..

Putra, Bali and his orphans

So I have been here for about three weeks now. My handover was smooth and I won’t lie, it felt really good to be welcomed so warmly by everyone, like I am back home. I feel like I have left all the stress and near nervous breakdowns back in Canada.  I still feel like I need some change in my life but of course I don’t know what that is.  But this time I am feeling positive and full of energy and just happy, I feel like myself again and all the negativity of the last contract and last vacation has evaporated into thin air. 

I do get frustrated with my job as I am sure like everyone does with their land job. But then sometimes someone reminds you why you do all this in the first place.

I have to tell you about a special little guy named Putra. He is a galley steward (kitchen cleaner) from Indonesia and I met him last contract, it was his first contract on a ship. His job is probably one of the least glamorous jobs on the ship and he earns a modest salary.  I first noticed him in the crew gym, he was always talking to people, laughing and smiling from ear to ear. Now most new Indonesian crew members are very quiet and shy but this little guy was making friends everywhere. 

I soon learned that his family owns and runs and orphanage in Bali, Indonesia. Putra came to our company to gain knowledge and to take it back to his family. He also sent every penny back home for his orphanage.  I saw him one day looking at our employee of the month board and someone walked up to him and told him he would never make it, he told them “Putra will be up there”. 

Putra called me one day and told me some of his kids at the orphanage were sad because their family’s house burned down in a house fire and they felt guilty for surviving. He wanted to make a video of all of his friends and send it to them to cheer them up and to encourage them to learn English.  I made the arrangements and gathered everyone and we made the home video.

Months and months went by and Putra became known all over the ship for his contagious positive attitude and his ear to ear smile. He was nominated to be employee of the month several times. In December of 2014 we unanimously decided that Putra embodies our company values so well and named him our employee of the month.  I felt like a proud Mama, no one deserved it more then him.

The other day Putra found me on Facebook and he told me has a little something for me. He sent me these photos and I immediately burst into tears and I think I cried for a good 20 minutes.  He used the money that’s awarded to employees of the month and he bought his ‘kids’ new computers and bicycles.  But he is so modest that he says that we, his management friends, bought those items for the kids because we made him employee of the month. He doesn’t understand that its all him and his amazing positive vibe, the contagious smile he shares with everyone, his outlook on life and his hard work that got him employee of the month.

I was so moved by these photos, so moved by Putra’s words and his gratitude, it just put everything into perspective. I shared the store with all my friends whose names they put in the photo and we all agreed, Putra is our hero.

Here we go again....

Well tomorrow I fly to Miami and I join my ship the following day.  I've been off work for 3 months and I probably had the most stressful vacation ever dealing with all sorts of drama and being a stand in housewife.  I am looking forward to just throwing myself into work so I can stop analyzing and thinking so much about where my life is going (or not going at this point). I hope the universe can give me some answers soon. I know I need a change in my life but I just don't know what that change needs to be.

I hear the Caribbean calling.....at least there people understand my accent :)

Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day Y'all. Feels great to actually be in Canada to celebrate it.

As for the photos, I can't retrieve them from my blog. No one from Google has responded to my plethora of emails and no one is helping out from the public forums so it looks like I have to manually fix the posts. That's 13 years of posts! Annoyingly enough the random stuff of little significance is still on the blog but the ones most important to me (my travel posts about Brazil, Colombia, the Caribbean etc), their photos are missing.  *sigh*