Sunday, March 30, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
I am Canadian
Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!
Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America
I AM CANADIAN!!
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really really nice.
I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!
Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America
I AM CANADIAN!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Saturday, March 01, 2008
ship life vs real life
In the real world, you don't have to be back at home one hour before your house starts moving.
In the real world, if you vomit people will not treat you as though you have just released the Ebola virus into widespread circulation. Neither will small men in outbreak suits appear to hose down your house. Nor will you have to spend 72 hours locked in your bedroom watching a parade of dreary Meg Ryan films.
In the real world Bingo is a game for old people and the rules do not stipulate that only Filipinos can win.
In the real world when people ask how you are you do not have to be "Excellent." You could be "not bad," "hungover," "bloody awful' or dispense with words completely and resort to hand gestures.
In the real world there are more than three episodes of The Simpsons and you don't have XMen 3 and Chronicals of Narnia on the movie channel every single day for months on end...
In the real world there is no need, on a weekly basis, to simulate how you would respond if your house was on fire (my advice is get out).
Neither do you have to stand outside for 30 minutes in all weather conditions wearing an oversized, sleeveless luminous orange puffa jacket.
In the real world you will not get 20% discount in all shops.
Having said that, the shops will stock items which are useful to you.
In the real world Skinless grilled chicken, Fettuccine Alfredo and NewYork cheesecake are not always available. (obviously the author never ate in
the crew mess!!!)
In the real world you can have a fight in the pub and not be sacked the moment you turn up for work the following day.
In the real world people work for five days and then have two days off. They do not go to work one morning and return home six months later.(What sort of
demented idea is that?)
In the real world you can sit on the toilet and flush it without the concern that your intestines may be sucked out and dragged down to an unknown destination
several floors below.
In the real world no-one has heard of PCS, USPH, SOLAS, STCW, or Bob
Dickenson!
In the real world flu jabs are not a requirement therefore you do not need to pretend to be allergic to eggs to avoid them.
In the real world you have to buy your own condoms (and the post coital cigarettes are a hell of a lot more expensive too).
In the real world relationships can work (though infrequently)
In the real world you can get as drunk as you like. You will not be breathalysed during the night or have a urine test the next morning to ensure you are capable of dealing with any nocturnal emergencies (eg. Your house sinking or the helicopter evacuation of an overweight American from your roof.)
You are also able to order doubles and shots and do not have to
attend Alcohol Awareness campaigns.
In the real world, if you vomit people will not treat you as though you have just released the Ebola virus into widespread circulation. Neither will small men in outbreak suits appear to hose down your house. Nor will you have to spend 72 hours locked in your bedroom watching a parade of dreary Meg Ryan films.
In the real world Bingo is a game for old people and the rules do not stipulate that only Filipinos can win.
In the real world when people ask how you are you do not have to be "Excellent." You could be "not bad," "hungover," "bloody awful' or dispense with words completely and resort to hand gestures.
In the real world there are more than three episodes of The Simpsons and you don't have XMen 3 and Chronicals of Narnia on the movie channel every single day for months on end...
In the real world there is no need, on a weekly basis, to simulate how you would respond if your house was on fire (my advice is get out).
Neither do you have to stand outside for 30 minutes in all weather conditions wearing an oversized, sleeveless luminous orange puffa jacket.
In the real world you will not get 20% discount in all shops.
Having said that, the shops will stock items which are useful to you.
In the real world Skinless grilled chicken, Fettuccine Alfredo and NewYork cheesecake are not always available. (obviously the author never ate in
the crew mess!!!)
In the real world you can have a fight in the pub and not be sacked the moment you turn up for work the following day.
In the real world people work for five days and then have two days off. They do not go to work one morning and return home six months later.(What sort of
demented idea is that?)
In the real world you can sit on the toilet and flush it without the concern that your intestines may be sucked out and dragged down to an unknown destination
several floors below.
In the real world no-one has heard of PCS, USPH, SOLAS, STCW, or Bob
Dickenson!
In the real world flu jabs are not a requirement therefore you do not need to pretend to be allergic to eggs to avoid them.
In the real world you have to buy your own condoms (and the post coital cigarettes are a hell of a lot more expensive too).
In the real world relationships can work (though infrequently)
In the real world you can get as drunk as you like. You will not be breathalysed during the night or have a urine test the next morning to ensure you are capable of dealing with any nocturnal emergencies (eg. Your house sinking or the helicopter evacuation of an overweight American from your roof.)
You are also able to order doubles and shots and do not have to
attend Alcohol Awareness campaigns.
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